if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
