I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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