Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
