It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Randomize
