but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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