Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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