so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
