Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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