I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
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