do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
