question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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