I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
