There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
