I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
