haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
