our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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