she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
