I can't breathe out the right side of my face
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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