it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
