You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
