Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize