two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
he quoted the bible to break up with me
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Randomize