btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Randomize
