Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
You know, be my cock's hype man.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
