i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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