The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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