He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
