dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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