angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
