Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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