my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
