my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
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