You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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