im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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