So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
