Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
