Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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