My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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