I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
