pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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