can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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