I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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