Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
a search helicopter?!
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
