he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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