is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Randomize
