oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
