You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
