how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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