Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Randomize
