That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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