ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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