my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize