Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
