My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
